Women of all ages voice the complaint that their special guys sometimes (or frequently) take them for granted. If you have found yourself in this situation, then you realize that depending upon the nature of the relationship, this can mean any number of things. Perhaps your beau used to shower you with flowers and candy, or multiple phone calls/emails a day. Maybe it seems as if he’s not as into you as he once was. There are a lot of reasons why the man in your life appears to be losing interest in the romance. Some of those reasons you’re aware of already.
“Taken for granted? What does that mean?”
One thing that people must realize is that men and women have different thought processes. Women are natural “nurturers.” Thus, it is common for them to expect the niceties that come along with being in a committed relationship. But simply telling your partner that you think he’s taking you for granted may not be enough of an explanation to evoke the response that you’re looking for.
Put plainly, you must first think about the behavior that you’d like him to display. Are the things you want him to do, things he was doing in the beginning of the relationship? If not, then he will have no idea what it is you expect of him. For instance, if he’s never bought you roses on Valentine’s Day, then it would be fairly unrealistic to be hopeful of receiving them out of the blue. In other words, make sure that the kind of behavior you expect is in accordance with the way he treated you at the start of the romance. Otherwise, the best thing to do is to gently broach the topic of what it is you want. Tell him that you really enjoy hearing from him during the day, instead of asking him why he does not call (which might put him on the defensive.) The point is that you might need to be fairly specific with him so that he understands your needs.
You take him for granted too…
The overly-quoted cliché, “two wrongs certainly do not make a right” is applicable when you think about how it concerns people in romantic relationships. Unfortunately, people who get their feelings hurt sometimes echo the behavior of the people who hurt them. That being said, it is very possible that your mate thinks you take him for granted too.
You must remember that men are human beings with feelings too. They want to feel desired, loved, and appreciated too. If your husband finally remembers to take out the trash regularly, after your having harassed him for weeks, there is nothing wrong with telling him how much his help and cooperation means to you. No reward is necessary for such a simple task. But the acknowledgement will make him feel appreciated for his efforts. If you overlook the little things that he does for you, he may subconsciously become resentful because he feels nothing he does will please you.
Additionally, there is nothing wrong with women initiating romance. Imagine how surprised your husband would be if you planned a two-person “surprise” party in the middle of the week for no specific reason whatsoever. Men definitely appreciate ladies who indulge them every once in a while. The occasional effort on your part may prompt him to reciprocate more often.
You smother him…
This is perhaps the most common reason why men at times treat their sweethearts “indifferently.” When women devote all of their energy to their romantic relationships, it can sometimes cause friction in many areas of the romance. It’s important that you allow him the freedom to do the things he enjoys doing on his own. Attempting to account for his every move might cause him to act indignant. He may feel that you’re trying to check up on him. Thus, all those sweet nothings will soon be out the window.
While there should definitely be some sense of cohesion in the relationship, it’s imperative that you do not take yourself for granted. Make sure that you’re spending time doing [some] things that you enjoyed before becoming part of a couple. Everyone needs a little breathing room, especially couples who live together. If you never have the opportunity to experience new things, and miss each other, then your relationship may become stale very quickly.